Friday, December 09, 2005

kyphosis, how i love thee.

so it all started the day after i got back from Philadelphia, on my birthday morn, when i was cutting a piece of board with an exacto. i had cut about two inches when i felt a peculiar...not quite pop, because pop insinuates all sorts of scary things out of whack, but something moved incorrectly in my right hand. almost like a charley horse, is what it felt like, and so i shook my hand out accordingly, trying to slip back whatever had gotten out of place. but it didn't go away.

the nagging pain continued, until finally on friday morning i came up to Jennifer with a whimpering plea to "fix it". she went over my hand a bit, and then gave me her chiropractor's number. i called and managed to get an appointment for two hours hence.

as an interesting aside, Jennifer has been going to this doctor for quite a while, and a couple months ago commissioned me to do a hot glue painting of a spine for his new exam room. i had met him briefly when he came by the Center, and he was sort of adorable in an aw-shucks chiropractor kind of way. so, she told me, i would get to see my piece hung up on the wall in his office when i went to see him.

Dr. G is located in the Memorial Hermann Wellness Center, a sort of doctor's suite cum spa next to one of Houston's large, confusingly named hospitals. when i walked in, i immediately thought this is where all the rich people go to get pampered and have plastic surgery. and of course i was right.

he went over me very thoroughly, for over an hour, poking and prodding and taking x-rays, and then cracking and rubbing and going over my back and neck with an enormous massager that resembled an orbital sander. he gave me the directions: PRICE, Protect, Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevate. no sleeping on my stomach anymore. his preliminary diagnosis was a slighty sprained/strained wrist (he dared mention the evil C-T word), tendonitis in my shoulder, and a neck that was, in his words, "bass ackwards".

so that was last friday. today i went in again and was treated to a look at my x-rays: the bones were all good in my shoulder, and my spine, when i am facing front, is straight and true. my neck, however, is FUBAR. i wish i had my x-rays to show you, constant reader, but all i can do is offer a picture that he drew. the blue is, obviously, how a normal spine should look. the red line is where my spine is. i saw the x-ray and quite frankly, it was fucking scary.




fig. 1 : fuck.


the good news (and there is some) is that we caught it early, and there is no damage to my disks, bones or nerves (forgive my extremely technical language). it can be corrected, but i will have to have about 10-12 more appointments in the next four weeks. all these are amazingly covered by my superawesome St*rbucks insurance, but there is a $35 copay for each appointment, an expense i can't afford. i suppose if i have to defer my loans, i have to defer my loans. dammit. but i really just don't want to mess around with this. when your hands are your livelihood, you don't have much choice.

(ps. my camera seems to no longer hate my computer, so picture entries once again!)

3 Comments:

Rhymes With Scrabble said...

Dude, I'm so sorry--but you're right, it's really good that they caught it in time, and you're better off paying those co-pays now to get it taken care of, even if you do have to defer loans. I hope you feel better soon!

4:52 AM  
alexis said...

yikes... it's definitely best to take care of it now fo' sho'.

hey are you coming to PA for the yuletide holidays?

7:11 PM  
Niner said...

"constant reader" Heh. I know who you got that from. hence, I know from whom you obtained such classic verbiage.

10:14 AM  

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