someday i'll tell you all the whole story.

i hate decisions.

in the space of two weeks, i have went from:

staying in Houston, getting a roommate to

staying in Houston, living alone on the cheap and finding another job to

moving home to Lebanon, working at a St*rbucks in Harrisburg and paying off my car to

moving back to Phiadelphia on the prospect of a teaching job and finding an affordable apartment in Germantown near Jeanine so i can see her any damn time i want. even when i lived in East Oak Lane, 15 minutes was too far.

so goodbye, then, to Houston, to Texas, i hardly knew ye. i think i am leaving late February or early March, never to return again, or at least not a long, long time. i can't imagine what would bring me back to this strange glittering city of white freeways and dirty little ramshackle houses. all the more easy to leave, because the girl (the woman) who i thought was my friend turned out to be a fucking sociopath. all the more easy to leave, since the Boy i thought i just might be falling for left me alone in the strangest of circumstances, circumstances that, now that the hurt has passed, i can look on and say: what the fuck?

telling all your friends "it's his loss" and for the first time in your life actually meaning it: priceless.