running hard

September 12. 1999

I must have started this entry a half a dozen times. What to talk about. First it was my little foray home on Labor Day weekend after a week of college, then it was about my experiences at the Renaissance Faire selling my pottery, and now we come to the present, and I am not sure what this is about.

I'll be starting my third week of college tomorrow. Needless to say, a lot of things have been thrown at me recently. I've been forced to think and act in ways I didn't think were possible for me, and that is both frightening and very exhilarating at the same time. I wrote in my own journal a couple weeks ago that I feel the texture of my life has shifted. It's not really something I can explain, it's more than my physical surroundings, an ineffable feeling that I can't quite pin down. The way I think has changed. The old pathways aren't being used anymore and new ones have been created.

For all those of you who say art school can't possibly be hard work, I have two words: fuck you. With those pleasantries over, I would just like to say that Tyler School of Art has kicked my ass all the way from here to Cancun. But in a good way. After this summer (when I was largely inactive on the artistic front and thus generally miserable), I realized that I need art to be happy. Simple as that. I have never felt so alive as I have during these past two weeks. So let's go through it, class by class.

3d Design:

I feel like I'm back in high school shop class, quite honestly. And being forced to use a radial saw during the second class certainly didn't score any brownie points with me. The guy who teaches it is a rather odd man, one can find him wearing work boots, jeans, a flannel shirt and one very large gold hoop earring in his ear. Whatever works, is what I say. The jury's still out on this one.

2d Design:

I had an ongoing trend in high school of having one hell class every year. 11th grade it was Chemistry, 12th it was Economics. I believe I have identified this class as this year's hell class. whoopee. I knew it wasn't a good sign when, on the first day of class, she handed out a list of materials and informed us we needed them the very next day. One trip to Pearl Art Supplies and $70 later, this woman had not ingratiated herself to me. Still, it's often the hardest classes that I learn the most. And she's from Ireland, and has the most adorable accent. Yes, you may call me a dork now.


Although it's a late evening class in an unairconditioned studio, it still rocks beyond all measure. It'll sound odd here in writing, but drawing seems to be some kind of cosmic connection for me. Like water for the soul, like I can touch something greater. Once I can get really into it, I feel like I'm flying, like I've entered another state of consciousness. I think my figure drawing class that I took in March and April at Pennsylvania School of Art and Design has helped a lot, because I am a lot more proficient at drawing the figure than most of the class. It's been incredibly hard, the teacher is tough, I leave the 2.5 hour class at 8:30 pm feeling like an open wound, but still. It's so incredibly worth it.

Art Heritage of the Western World:

Your basic art history survey course, but nonetheless interesting. A ton of reading and writing, but that's to be expected. Although it is a lecture class, which means sitting in a dark room looking at slides with the specter of sleep always hovering above you, the prof is amazing engaging and an excellent lecturer. Haven't fallen asleep yet. :)

Intellectual Heritage:

I really have no opinion on this class either way. When I heard it was going to be about philosophy and religion and all those good subjects, I was excited, but so far, it's turned out to be only mildly interesting. Finally read Oedipus Rex, which was cool, and Antigone is next on the list. However, like in Economics last year, I am getting the urge to write poetry during this class.

Foundation Computers:

"This is how you turn on a computer, kids!" That is not an exaggeration. The first class consisted of us learning how to move folders from one place to another. So much for my hopes of learning html. And using Macs, no less. It's getting quite confusing going between that and my little compaq presario, but at least I am learning both systems.

So, that's Bethany's college wrap-up. Now I need to go sleep.

music:the whirr of the fan in the background
food: diet dr. pepper
read: The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, by Rebecca Wells
(new!)sight: the glare of two lights, one fluorescent, the other not
random: "Yes, that rapidograph set cost $39, ma'am." --clerk to me at Pearl Art Supplies