pseudo disappointment
April 14. 2000

Amy left to go back to Scotland today. She was my roommate, in case you were wondering. And I guess you should be, because I realized a couple weeks ago that I barely mentioned her here. Maybe it's the nature of an online journal (i.e., self-absorption), but she really didn't figure into here much.

I think this was because she was never around. She and I kept completely different hours, and had completely different priorities and habits, and as a result, we rarely saw each other more than an hour or two a day. Which worked out pretty well. I was a little disappointed with her, in a way, because I was hoping we could really be friends, but it just didn't work out. We could have a good conversation, had similar beliefs in many areas, but the fact that she was a prodigious drinker and I am not put a severe damper on any social life we could have together. Her life alternated between being in the studio and going out and getting drunk at night.

I was also a bit miffed that she decided not to spend spring break with me. But after thinking about it for a while, I realized it was for the best for both of us. For me, because I would have been chained to her for a whole week, and I wasn't sure if I could handle of a week of anyone, and for her, because being at home with me would have required her to put a cap on her drinking and smoking habits.

The only time I was really mad at her was when I got back today, after she had left, and I found she had left things a mess. A really disgusting mess. Her desk was dirty, with little bits of paper, dust, opened bottles of beer (one of which I spilled, not realizing it was open). Her closet was in a similar state. And worst of all, she had left her sheets on the bed, sheets she had not changed in the three months she was here. I quickly wrapped them up and threw them in the garbage. Ugh. The good part was she had left all sorts of stuff for me, including a really drawing book and two rolls of Polaroid film, which I can definitely make use of.

I'm not mad at her or anything. It was an odd relationship we had, but a perfectly pleasant one. I guess I was lucky with her, after all the crap I went through with Cheryl during the first semester. Amy may be back for grad school here at Tyler in a year and half, if she can get an assistantship. I have a feeling I'm going to see her again.


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all writings, (c) 1999-2000, BRR