leaving hell

August 18. 2000

fencing pictures, taken yesterday:


the blur is my Dad.



I don't know why these are so yellow.

2:15 am.

I haven't been up this late since....May, probably. I couldn't even stay up this late at either of Dani's parties. Passed out at 10:30 and midnight, respectively. Hey, don't blame me, I started making (and drinking) margaritas at 6. Sheesh.

Today was the last day of work. Needless to say, I am relieved that it's finally over and done with. I can't believe how fast it all went. I mean, I worked there for almost three months, and it feels like it went by in the blink of an eye. Today I kept thinking about my first day, and how scared I was, and how I wanted to quit, and how I was convinced I would be miserable for the entire summer. I was, but the experience did have some redeemable qualities. Namely a full bank account and two new friends.

I've noticed that the older I get, the faster time passes. When I was little, a summer day could stretch into eternity (come to think of it, some of the days this summer stretched into eternity), but now times flies by at lightning speed. I still can't believe I've already completed a year of college. I graduated high school over a year ago. I'll be twenty years old soon. Looking back, it just seems like such a brief amount of time.

Both Dani and I got presents from the ladies in B zone before we left today. Darlene gathered us together, and presented each of us with a card that they all had signed, along twenty dollars tucked inside. It was so unexpected and wonderful, and I almost started crying. I may have hated the job, but the people there were great, and made the job bearable, even enjoyable, at some points.

I don't think I'll be back there over Christmas, though. I don't know if I could deal with all the bullshit again. Of course, if the job at Barnes and Noble pans out, this won't even be an issue. They haven't called me yet, though. They said they'd call by Friday and let me know if I had the job. I have a weird, bad feeling about this. How much I want a job is in direct proportion to how unlikely I am to get it. Cross your fingers for me.

I'm going to the King of Prussia mall tomorrow with Dani, Mike, and everyone I went to Baltimore with. It's the biggest mall on the east coast, but I've only been there once. Which is kind of sad considering that it's a twenty minute drive from where I'm going to live in Philly. Malls, in general, just don't agree with me. Mostly because everytime I go in one I inevitably feel bad about how I look, and also because, at this particular moment, I can't really spend any money. So I'm going for the company, and to see Dani try on all sorts of wild punk clothing (Btw, Dani shaved her head and dyed what was left of her hair pink. It looks fabulous. Pictures tomorrow).