girl in da hood
December 11. 2000
more pics from Harlem:
After my art history class today, I went to the Kmart down the road to pick up some things (specifically a bottle of power steering fluid to make an [ultimately futile] attempt to cure Bessie of her ailments, and one of those large Rubbermaid clear plastic chest of drawers to store some supplies in). As I was driving back home, I stopped at an intersection.
A car pulled up on the right side of me. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the driver was trying to get my attention. Okay, so maybe she needed directions. She motioned for me to roll down my window. Now, this was not an easy task, because I had the aforementioned plastic drawers sitting in the passenger seat. So I had to shift the plastic drawers over, unbuckle my seat belt, and laboriously crank down the window (Bessie doesn't have power ANYTHING).
Once I had, these were the first words out of her mouth:
"That was not very fucking smart, what you just did."
Then she proceeds to chew me out about how I supposedly cut her off when I switched lanes, etc etc. Had I not been so surprised at this sudden attack I would've been very amused that this woman was yelling at me as we both waited at a red light.
And all I manage to stammer out in response was something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you..." I think it is time for Bethany to learn the value of a well-placed "Fuck you". Or at least I should've rolled up the window and ignored the rest of her tirade. But no. All I could manage were some stammered apologies.
I am such a schmuck.
Driving in Philly is a bitch. There is no way around it. So if any of you kind readers ever decide to visit the city of brotherly love, I offer some advice to stay alive:
1. People park in the middle turning lane on North Broad Street. Get used to it.
2. Cars will go before the light actually turns green. If you wait til it turns green, you will get honked at and/or flipped off.
3. Do not get stuck behind a SEPTA bus. You will not be able to get out from behind it.
4. Pedestrians walk out in the middle of the street in front of your car as you are going fast. There is no such thing as jaywalking in Philly.
5. If you are a middle class formerly suburban white girl (as I am), do not play rap or r&b in predominantly African-American neighborhoods. You will get dirty looks.
6. The odds of getting a free parking space in center city at any point during the day or evening, week or weekend, is approximately 37,193 to 1.
7. If you do manage to find a parking space, you must have two things: excellent parallel parking skills, and a roll of quarters.
8. Required: the Club. A good idea: an alarm system that will go off frequently for no reason and when it does, everyone around will ignore it.
9. Have good shocks. And tires. And tinted windows, if you can.
10. It's not a gunshot, just an engine backfiring. You can get out from under the glove compartment now.
One Year Ago:
all writings, (c) 1999-2000, BRR