goodbyes

January 4. 2000

I guess today was the last hurrah, and I was not really looking forward to it. John leaves for school today, and the little group that I had practically lived with during the past few weeks was going to be broken up.

We gathered at the Allen as always, and played Trivial Pursuit as always. Erin's friend Michelle from college was visiting (she was a really cool girl, too) and with various other high school friends dropping by our table periodically, it was quite enjoyable. It's funny how the social groups that mattered so much in high school have sort of dissolved and don't matter anymore. No grudges held, in some cases. People who bothered me all throughout high school just don't ruffle my feathers anymore.

Monday is open mic night, more bad poetry, uninspiring singing and playing, with the occasional talent thrown in here and there. Jenna, a long time acquaintance of mine who used to host open mic night before she went college, dropped by to sing a few songs. I'm actually quite envious of her, I'd probably be her in another life. She's attending Berklee College of Music for singing, and is also quite a good pianist. Although she butchered Tori's "Winter", turning it into a psuedo-jazz torch ballad, she does a bitching version of "Fever".

According to tradition, we proceeded to the Hearth. Dan, John, Erin and I had an intense 2 hour debate/discussion on the death penalty. Actually, it was mostly Dan, John and Erin doing the debating because I really don't know what my opinion is on that issue, and didn't feel I knew enough to contribute. I would've highlighted the main points we discussed, because I'm sure they were interesting, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was too busy making designs with the salt on the tabletop. One design I liked so much I drew it in my journal, you can see it above. Kind of like a modern Pieta.

We all went back to Dan's house at this point to watch videos. I finally saw the mythical "Swingers", which Dan can recite in its entirety (I am not exaggerating). It was a very good movie. We also watched part of "Chasing Amy", which really makes me think I should delve more deeply into the Kevin Smith cult. And of course, anything about lesbian sex is funny. Duh.

Finally, we drove back to the Hearth (because John had left his car there), and I had to say good bye. We kind of just sat there, having one of those nonsensical, fractured conversations that we usually do. He hugged me, and opened the door halfway, as if to go out. Then we started talking again, and he closed it. Then opened it again, and then we started talking, and closed it. But it was getting on to 5 am, so I knew he had to get going because he was leaving in about three hours for pittsburgh.

I cried most of the way home, eating cheap, nasty peanut brittle I had bought at Wal-Mart for a buck. I'm not going to see him until March. Dammit.

music: Ani DiFranco, To the Teeth
food:grilled cheese I made myself
read: John B's manuscript (coming along slowly)
sight: zip disks
song lyric:
I don't keep much stuff around / i value my portability
-Soft Shoulder, Ani DiFranco