songs are like tattoos
June 2. 2000


I've been such a downer this week, sorry. Too many things have been thrown at me lately, and I can't deal.

I'm slowly sinking into the job routine, and trying to get used to it, although I think it'll take a few weeks to get fully acclimated. Like most things, it's not really as bad as I thought.The one saving grace of my job is that I love the people that I work with. They're all women, and older than me, but very cool. People in general at my job are really really nice, and very welcoming. The work is bearable enough, and I am definitely getting some kind of workout. The place isn't air conditioned, though. And it was 95 and humid today. Ouch.

Let's see, what else...

My grandmother had her masectomy yesterday in Baltimore, and everything went okay. She and my mother are back up in Wilkes-Barre tonight. I couldn't believe this, but did you know a masectomy is OUTPATIENT surgery? It takes 35-40 minutes, and my grandmother was back in the hotel the same day. It kills me...I mean, they're removing part of your body. Not that I'm particularly fond of my breasts, but losing part of yourself like that must be scary.

Anyway, I'm just so glad my grandmother's okay and nothing went wrong. I semi-freaked out the night before when I talked to her. I nearly started crying over the phone, but managed to keep it together. *sigh*

As if that weren't enough to worry me, on Tuesday some kid at my dad's school spraypainted "Fuck Mr. Rusen" on a tennis court or something. My dad laughed it off. He's a tough teacher, and at times not too popular with his students. And all this time, I just keep thinking about that teacher shot dead a couple weeks ago. What would prevent the kid who spraypainted that from doing that to my Dad?

I don't even want to fucking think about it, and I try not to. On Tuesday, in the same conversation, my father mentioned he was assaulted by students 3 times this school year. This news I either missed entirely or just wasn't paying attention when he told me, which is highly unlikely.

It's so fucking crazy.

And to cap off this absolutely delightful week, I had three major fights with family members in the last three nights. Wednesday it was me and my sister fighting over who could use the phone. Thursday it was Lauren blaming me for not being able to go to dinner with her loser boyfriend (more on the loser boyfriend later), and screaming IN MY EAR as I was driving. Tonight it was my father flipping out on me for leaving a half filled glass of lemonade on the counter, which was followed by him smashing the glass in the dishwasher, several minutes of screaming and slapping me across the face a couple times.

Whatever. Tomorrow will be better. Talk to me then.

blue...songs are like tattoosyou make it through these dayshey blue, there is a song for you

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all writings, (c) 1999-2000, BRR