June 23. 2000
I was thinking a few weeks ago how much it would suck if some of favorite journals, for whatever reason, decided to close up shop and stop writing. I must have jinxed something, because a couple of my favorite ones decided to do just that. First it was the unannounced hiatus of The Mind's I by Iko, and Imago by Ella. Then Mahrya of Atmosphere is stopping as well. And Michelle of There She Goes is quitting as soon as she moves in August.
What is a journal reader to do?
This is the first seperation anxiety I've had with journals since I first started reading them about a year and a half ago. I'm not criticizing why these people stop, they have their reasons and they're not really any of my business. But I can't help wondering every time I go browse a now-static page of a former journaler. What is this person up to? Are they still with their significant other? Did they ever find a significant other? How are their kids? How is their career? And it's not like you can just sit down and email them and say, "Hi, you don't know me, but I read your online journal way back when, and I was wondering, how are you doing?"
I read something on a webpage a couple weeks ago that claimed that the sole purpose of online journals is narcissism. I couldn't disagree more. Well, an online journal shouldn't be narcisstic if you're doing it right. At least that's what I believe. Obviously, if a person goes on and on about how they hate themselves and want to die, it's going to get boring after a while. But if you pull the camera angle back a little, you get a feel of that person's life. Who they love, what they love, where they work, the books they read, their sense of humor.
I know there will be other journals just as good that will come along my path eventually, but I can't help feel the loss. I wish these people well, wherever their life takes them.
Well, I'm not in New York City this weekend like I said I would be. John ended up having work meetings on Saturday and Sunday, so naturally that wasn't conducive to me going to visit him. So I am going next weekend, with aspirations of finally purchasing a digital camera. Of course, there's the one that I've been using that's attached to my family's video camcorder, but as I'm sure you've gathered by the quality of the images, it sucks the big one.
Now if only Gary would decide to not butt into this issue. He's absolutely convinced that if I buy this camera now I am the most irresponsible human being to walk this earth. I don't want to get into the particulars of this debate, but his position has gone from "I'll give $400 towards it, consider it an early birthday present" to "Sure, go ahead and buy it (but don't expect any financial help from me)" to "I think buying this camera right now is a very irresponsible thing to do". So you see why I'm just a little confused.
So I'm being reserved. If I go to NYC and I see a camera I really like, with all the features I need and at a price I can afford, I'll go for it. Otherwise, I'll save it for another time. But god, I am just dying for this journal to be more visual. Aren't you?