tired, sick, etc.

march 25. 2000

random strange drawingSick again, I am. It started Thursday, I think. The usual fatigue and a bit of a sore throat. After I got home from morning class that day, I gave up the ghost and collapsed. Friday, I rose again, happy and chipper, only to crash once again around noon. I missed three classes this week. Ouch.

I think I got it from Amy, actually. She was sick earlier in the week, and no matter how hard I tried to mentally ward off the germs that I'm sure were pouring down from her bunk above me, it did no good. My throat is so swollen I feel sometimes like I'm going to choke, swallowing is extremely painful, thus I have not eaten that much today. I just generally feel like a truck ran over me.

So here I sit, in the computer lab on a gorgeous Saturday that I'm too ill to enjoy anyway, working because a) I really need the money, and b) it's sitting in front of a computer for 4 hours, so it's not too labor intensive. One other person is in here at the moment. I hope it stays that way, because I am not in the mood for people coming up to me and saying, "I can't get my disk out of the zip drive!" All the zip drives in this lab are malfunctioning at one point or another, they just take turns with the purpose of driving me crazy.

The 'rents and the sister are coming down tomorrow to visit me. Which means tonight I have to do some major cleaning in the room. It actually isn't in too bad a shape right now, at least the smell is gone. I never thought I would occupy a living space that had an unpleasant smell, but there you go. Maybe I've just become an anal neat freak in my old age, or maybe I'm surrounded by slobs. I don't know. I've inherited my mother and father's cleaning compulsion. My mother gets constantly ribbed for emulating Martha Stewart. Still, our house is always impeccably beautiful, and it never smells save for the multitude of candles lit at all times.

Tomorrow is also my Last Ditch Attempt To Convince My Parents To Let Me Have My Own Apartment Next Year. It's been on and off, on and off, yes you can, no you can't, so I guess tomorrow is the final hurrah. The Big Decision. I really want to have my own place...no, I'm dying to have my own place. I just have to play it cool and not freak out and stay calm and maybe employ some groveling.

Their reasoning for being hesitant to let me have my own place is supposedly not my maturity, but my safety. Yes, Tyler is not in the best of neighborhoods. As my mother termed it, "You could be dead for days and no one would even know!" The apartment complexes I've been looking at, however, are in some very nice neighboorhoods, a 3 minute drive from Tyler. I really hope it works out.

I have no doubts that I could live alone. Cooking I've got down. It's not hard to marinate chicken in a ziploc bag and steaming vegetables is a no brainer. I have the neatness and cleanliness issue down pat (see above). I am ready to a full fledged adult, whatever that is. I just really want my own space, my own digs to fill with my own karma. No one else's mess or stuff or things mingling with mine. I'd like to think I'm not a social hermit, but I'm not entirely sure that's true. I have to say though that I am pretty happy with the state of my life in regards to social interaction. I finally got rid of the "must go out on Friday night" bug and am happy at home alone in my room, eating a pizza, listening to NPR and thinking deep, cerebral thoughts.