May 26, 2000

yawn. sigh. blah.
May 26. 2000

Things have been sporadic here at Hejira. But we are now fully functional once again, and are here to serve all of your online journalling needs.

I did get the job at the Unnamed Computer Place, by the way. I found out like a week and a half ago but due to my general slackerness I'm only telling you now. I'm only telling you now because it's been first and foremost on my mind because I start Tuesday. This would not be a big deal except:

It's my first full time job EVER. It's pathetic, I know, I'm 19 years old and have never worked a forty hour week. This I am most worried about, because I don't know if I'll have the stamina to swing it. Oh well...I'll have to swing it. Not much choice at this point.

First experience in the corporate world. As corporate as the world can be in Lebanon, PA, that is. Can I muster enough bullshit?

The bullshit itself. Motivational meetings. Thinking outside the box. Corporate drone? Just a girl in a tie? Yikes.

My god, will there be dress codes? Will I have to wear a hairnet?

Am I going to be bored out of my mind?

But I have to take this job because:

I need the money. I'm living alone next year.

If I don't have a job, my parents will murder me. Simple as that.

I need the money. Digital cameras don't pay for themselves.

If I don't have a job, I will be in the slackerish and miserable mode that I am in now for the rest of the summer.

I need the money.

I wish I could be all "Hi ho, it's off to work we go" about it. The great American work ethic or something. Truth is, I am scared about working at the Unnamed Computer Place. Will I be good enough? Will they look at me, 19 years old, and just laugh at me? Will I qualify for stock options?

Seriously, though, I know if I don't have something to structure my days, I'd fall back into the land of slackerdom in which I am currently wallowing. And I don't want to that to happen. This summer was supposed to be the turning point. I hope it still can be.

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