Friday August 10. 2001

et cetera

So, it's no big news to anyone in the Northeast that it's been insufferably hot this last week. I've never had heat really effect me (unless you count the frequent bitching and whining), but this entire week I felt immobilized. When I was at the studio, I walked around in a daze, with a perpetual headache, the kind of headache that feels as if there's lead weights bearing down on my eyebrows. This is the headache of not enough sleep. It's completely ironic, because this summer I have been getting the most regular sleep of my entire life - to bed by 11 or midnight, up by eight in the morning, equalling a not too shabby eight-nine hours. I now have myself so carefully trained that I get up at eight without an alarm clock.

Yet I've felt horrible. Half asleep, pissed off and frustrated. I've not ventured out of doors at all, except for a mad dash from air conditioned apartment to air conditioned car to air conditioned studio. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. The today and yesterday the air outside was almost hard to breathe, just walking up six flights of stairs to get to the Financial Aid office had me significally winded and my poor little caffeinated heart palpatating wildly (I know. Exercise.).

When I left for work at 3 today, the sun was shining, it was hazy and hot as all hell. As I drove north the sky darkened to the west. I put on my headlights. By the time I pulled into the parking lot, there was a deluge descending from the skies. The distance from my car to the store still left me soaked and shivering. All that, and the promised relief from the heat and humidity did not come.

Strange as it may seem, I still like my job. I think this is the longest period of grace I have ever had with a SRJ (Stupid Retail Job). I actually look forward to coming into work. I like all my coworkers, and the ones I don't like I don't let get to me. The atmosphere is so much different from B&N, which is funny considering they are direct competitors, selling pretty much the same things to pretty much the same clientele. I have a sinking feeling that this is where I belonged all along, and I waste nine months of stress, tears and anger on Barnes & Noble Booksellers, Inc.

I had a rather delicious thought today at work. I was shelving some stuff, and I came across The Complete Idiot's Guide to Being a Landlord. Wouldn't it be sweet if I wrapped it up real nice and neat and shipped it off to the evil woman with a little note saying, "Thought you might be able to use this."

If she weren't a lawyer, I would do it in a second. But I won't tempt fate. Besides, this little deal would require me to spend money on the evil woman. I'm not sure if I want to do that.

So. The apartment sitch. Well, one good thing is I found out I actually have the lease until August 31st, allowing me a little bit more time. Today at the studio Mom called me and we talked about the feasibility of me staying put where I am and paying a month to month lease, exorbitant as it is. Her reasoning is that any money we might save moving elsewhere would be eaten up by moving at the end of the month, and then moving again, back to my parents' house, at the end of December. I can see her point.

I've already moved half of my stuff out of here (in anticipation of moving), and it just looks kind of depressing and empty. I wish I could just know what's going to happen in a couple weeks. I hate uncertainty.

One Year Ago:
"We filled that day with eating penny candy, listening to Joni Mitchell on vinyl and an Ani DiFranco concert that night. I held her hand, hugged her, put my arm around her, and kissed her on the cheek during the concert."