Not going to sit on my hands
and nod my head and be understanding
you got any room and I'll fill it
I got my boots on
I got my boots on
and I know how to use 'em
and I know how to use 'em

I got a Big Dick
I got a Big Dick
I got a Big Dick
really big dick...

bionic finger

roses from my mum

Saturday February 10. 2001

roses for the Rose

The days that beat me down the most aren't the ones where I am overloaded and busy with work, it's the days where I feel paralyzed and uninspired and completely unmotivated to do anything. This last week of sloth has put me really behind on all my work, now I'm scrambling to catch up.

I had a really great weekend, though. I went out on Friday night after work with some coworkers - Cara, a couple other people I don't know well, and to my surprise, M, my social retard manager, who's good friends with Cara. I am prepared to stick my foot in my mouth, because he's actually a really fun, wacky guy to be around - one of his tricks was to balance a salt shaker on his large bald head while he ate, which is harder than you might think. He seems to be cool when you're just hanging out with him, but as soon as he enters to hallowed doors of B&N, he turns into this rude, curt person. It's like Jekyll and Hyde. Cara was right when she said to me that he's a good guy, his managing style just sucks. Maybe being rude is his idea of impersonal professionalism.

Needless to say, I got home late on Friday, and was woken at 11:30 by my retarded woodpecker doorbell - it was my lovely mother at the door. Half asleep, in my bathrobe and sans contacts, I opened the door a crack and blearily requested for her to "Come back in a half hour, this place is a mess...", to which she replied she had to use the bathroom NOW.

Independence Hall at nightThe apartment actually wasn't too bad, but I knew it would be enough to bother my mother. After I finished cleaning up, we were off on a shopping spree - to Barnes and Noble, Bed, Bath and Beyond, Giant and Wal-Mart. Mom goes just a little crazy every time she enters a Bed, Bath and Beyond. She started talking about how she wanted to redo the master bedroom, and showed me the gauzy drapes she had selected for it. Then it was to the dinnerware, musing over the multicolored plates ("But we already have so many plates!"), then picked up some smooth stones for her floating candle bowl.

We ended the day with some sushi at an excellent Japanese restaurant near B&N. We had briefly considered going to Olive Garden, but trying to get a table at 7:30 on a Saturday night is near impossible. The Japanese restaurant was crowded as well, but not obnoxiously so. I think I definitely like sushi now - no question about it. I can't say what it is that I really like, maybe it's more the texture and presentation that I like more than the taste, but still...I have yet another expensive habit to support. My Mom got some kind of fried chicken that came in long strips and just melted in your mouth. I love spending time with my Mom. It feels like I hardly see my family anymore, and when I do, it's them coming here, not me going to Lebanon. I haven't been home for over a month.

I finally went to see Bionic Finger tonight. They were going on extremely late (11:45) at a coffeehouse in Olde City. I had dragged some friends along with me: Chris and his girlfriend Clarisa, Vanessa and her friend Allie. Parking wasn't too hard to find downtown, I managed to find a place right next to Independence Mall, so it was only about 5 blocks to walk, though it was bitterly cold.

Pam, Nan and ChristineBionic Finger was really good. Alina, one of the members, was missing (Nan explained that she was "on vacation in the Caribbean"), so that was disappointing, but Pam, Nan and Christine were really good all by themselves. Christine has an excellent voice, as John had told me (he had been in a band with her for a little while), Nan is a very charismatic frontwoman, and Pam is an excellent drummer. I hope I can see them many times more. The set tonight was so short and because it was their first time in Philly (being from NYC), not many people knew who they were. I clapped and yelled enthusiastically, and took many blurry pictures (every time I tried to use the flash they didn't come out at all, I guess because it was too dark).

Pam, Nan and ChristineWe left shortly after BF finished their set, because we were all tired and Vanessa had church in the morning. On the way back, I ran into some road rage - I guess I deserved it, really, driving in Philadelphia at 1:30 am. As I was going around City Hall, this guy behind me leaned on his horn (why, I don't know), and then pulled up beside me as we were driving and wildly gesticulated his displeasure. I calmly flipped him off (yes, I know this isn't a good idea), and then he sped up and cut me off. It was scary. I guess all the weirdos go out on the road after 1 am.

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One Year Ago:
"Many people have said it to me throughout most of my life: "You are your own worst enemy." And I wholeheartedly agree. The way I think, the things I do, are ultimately self-defeating."