Sunday July 15. 2001

it's a beautiful day

Today I was driving over the turnpike bridge from Jersey into Pennsylvania. The sky was broken wide open, yellows and purples and blues spilling everywhere interspersed with puffy cumulus clouds, offset by the long white wispy stripes of stratus clouds. As I came over the bridge, this is what I saw. It was so bright it glared off my windshield and made my eyes water. Lauren and Lindsey were sleeping. We were almost home.

My mind has been tending toward film these days, rather than just a single still image. I wish I could record a few seconds of that sunset for you. I wish you could see the bridge girders and the road and the cattle chutes flying past me at sixty miles an hour. I wish you could feel the cold air from the vents crawl along your arms. I wish I could give that moment to you.

For the first time, it's happened. I really love my life. I know, I constantly complain about the small things in my life that annoy or bother me, but the things that really count, those things which are important and essential, I have in abundance. I just spent the entire weekend in the greatest city in the world with people who I love and people who I met through serendipity and I've been lucky enough to get to know, if only for a day. I am healthy, I am smart, I am talented and I know what I'm doing, at least most of the time. The degree of control I have over my life almost scares me. The pieces are all lined up in a row, but even if some of them get knocked over, I think I'll be okay.

I have a beautiful year coming up. I am moving into an amazing house in about a month. I have a semester ahead of me that is filled with promise. I am going to Rome the next semester. I am going to PGSA next summer, where I am going to get a second chance to have the greatest experience of my life with some of the most wonderful people I know. And then my senior year, graduation, possibly grad school, moving, new life, life, life, life.

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One Year Ago:
"The walls were wood paneling, and were adorned with small crosses, bible verses and embroidery. The booth seats were covered with a bright turquoise vinyl, which was worn and tearing in places. All of the tables and the bar were covered with faded formica. The coffee was bad, the food greasy and the soda watered down."