Wednesday July 4. 2001

rain on the fourth

I woke up this morning, I had a instinct, a feeling in my gut. I dragged myself out of bed after a very restful 9 hours of sleep, and I felt like death. I knew something bad was going to happen today.

I had an interview for a job today. "Interview for a job" actually sounds a lot more important than it acutally was. This wasn't a real job, just a stupid retail job at another large, multi-national superstore that has spread like a virus across the country. Let's think of it as the Barnes and Noble of Electronics and Computer Equipment.

And I fucking blew it.

One must understand that to get a job at any large overgrown retail store such as this, one must use the right words. You must walk the walk, talk the talk and say what they want you to say. You must extoll the virtues of customer service, even if you couldn't care less. You must say you like people and like working in a fast-paced environment, even though you are an anti-social moron who thinks most of the human race are mindless idiots. And I was doing well, until...

"If an employee stole less than $5 of merchandise from a store and was caught, what do you think they should do?"

And I said they should be given a second chance and not be fired. Because, duh, that was me.

The dude interviewing me obviously didn't like this answer. He tried to prod me into changing my mind by giving me this nonsensical and drawn-out analogy which went something along the lines of, "What if this was your last five bucks and you were out of gas and none of your friends could come pick you up, would you change your mind?"

He made a little black mark on his paper, said he's call if they were going to hire me. I shook his hand, went to the dirty bathroom, shed a few tears, and then got in the car to drive home to Lebanon. I knew that they weren't going to call. Back to the fucking drawing board, as it were.

My mom said to me tonight, "You know, you're smarter than the people who work there. You're probably smarter than the guy who interviewed you." Which is true, but it only made me feel worse. It's a stupid retail job, and I'm too much of an idiot to even get hired.

I spent my 4th of July celebration at Kate and Greg's house. Kate and Greg, I've mentioned them before, they're both actors who work at the PA Renaissance Faire as artistic directors. They are both a riot to be around. Greg is very into martial arts and stage combat, and their house is filled with various swords and other weapons paraphenalia. Frequently and without warning they break into song or weird accents (this time it was mostly Scottish, because Celtic Weekend is coming up at the Faire). Plus they just had a baby, James Wulfgar (who is the godchild of my parents), which made it twice as fun, because the baby is adorable. I'm not a baby person, but this child is just so charming and fun to be around.

Dad and Greg took J.W. to get some fireworks ("His first pyrotechnics!" said Greg gleefully) and then, before the rain started sprinkling, we lit sparklers and smoke bombs and danced like dorks around in front of the baby, who was chewing on the tip of a small American flag. It was a small gathering, but more fun than I expected. Sometimes a cute little baby is all you need.

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One Year Ago:
"I went on lots of subways. Did I mention I love subways?"