the beach at Arbroath, Scotland

6 April 2004
trash talking

i geeked out in a major way this weekend. i spent nearly all my time working on AND i watched reruns of Star Trek: The Next Generation on SpikeTV at the same time. the good news is i got to see one of my favorite two-parters (Picard turns into the Borg!), and the bad news is that even after hours and hours of work i still don't really like the layout of the site and it's still nowhere near being done.

i spent friday night watching Viva La Bam and Wildboyz on MTV until 5:30 in the morning. these are two shows i am almost afraid to admit i enjoy. immensely. Bam Margera? i'd fuck him. he reminds me of all the dumb, destructive boys in high school who lit small animals on fire for the fun of it. Bam and his cohorts repeatedly destroying his parents' house (installing a drawbridge in the front, turning the entire downstairs into one giant halfpipe) is still funny as shit, no matter how many times it happens. And Wildboyz is indeed the most bizarrely homoerotic show on television, as i once heard observed. if i had a nickel for every time Chris Pontius and Steve-O:

a) wedged a dead fish in their butt crack for some animal to eat,
b) had an insect or scorpion bite their ass,
c) pretended to hump a buffalo,
d) spooned together in a sleeping bag

well, i wouldn't be hurting for rent money right now, let's put it that way.

i have to say i miss Jackass. whatever happened to that show? i have yet to see the movie. i do love that Johnny Knoxville (though not as much as Bam). thankfully he does guest appearances on Wildboyz.

now i'm quite sure my intellectual, erudite, NPR-loving audience has deleted my page from their bookmarks. ah well. you can't pick who you love.

ps. i hate Ryan Seacrest, by the way. Appropos of nothing. he is a simpering idiot. a metrosexual gone too far. he should be taken to Montana, made to grow facial hair and be taught how to scratch his balls.

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